"Due Contrition" is a short film I made for my university's film festival in November 2011. This was my last year as an undergraduate, so I wanted to end my time there with something memorable. I had always been interested in making a film for this film festival (and at this point, I had helped with two movies during the previous year), so it seemed right to go ahead and try my best.
"Due Contrition" is a detective film presented in the film noir fashion. I opted for the black-and-white style because it is visually appealing to me and adds to the mood of mystery. Though the story was not as fleshed out as I wanted it to be originally, I feel that it turned out pretty well for the most part.
My character in this film is a man named Adrian, who is the detective's partner and confidant. I won two awards for this film: Best Actor (for my performance as Adrian) and Best Drama. I am not terribly convinced that I should have won the first award, but I am humbled by it and hope to continue to improve my abilities with some tentative filming projects in the future.
And now, without further ado, here is "Due Contrition"
Podcasts have become my main source of information in the past seven years. I listen to many different podcasts every week for many different reasons. I cannot help but enjoy listening to them.
Because of this, I would like to start reviewing podcasts for my blog. There are some that I have kept up with during their entire runs, and others that I have listened to the majority of episodes. I think this will be helpful for me so that I can sort out my thoughts and really examine how I spend my time with these different podcasts.
This will also help me become more dedicated to rating and reviewing podcasts on iTunes. I need to support those who provide me with so much entertainment and news, right?
I had made a series of Twitter posts about Jason Faunt back on September 2nd. Since then, I found out that he (or someone else pretending to be him, it's not entirely clear yet) has a Twitter account. I will now re-post what I said on Twitter with a few added details in hopes that he will one day see it and realize the impact his role as the Red Time Force Ranger made on my life.
(I will be intentionally vague about the details so as not to give away information I would prefer to keep quiet.)
Back in 2000, I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life. The constant moving around that we did as a family was a strain on me. Other situations were painful for me, and not without a certain amount of drug abuse on other's parts. Suffice it to say, this time of my life was not an easy one, especially since my upbringing was not left untouched by the sting of death and heartbreak. I felt powerless to change my circumstances, and so I became ever more jaded and withdrawn. My one best friend at the time was my little brother, and the time we spent together was precious and treasured.
When 2001 came around, circumstances were still difficult, and in some ways became worse. The situations were taking a toll on my homework, my friendships suffered, my relationships were strained, and my outlook on life was, for lack of a better term, grim.
I had watched Power Rangers for so many years before that time, but like many people my age, I took a break at around the time Power Rangers Lost Galaxy began. The Rangers I knew, the original Mighty Morphin' cast, were long gone by this point, and thus, my attachment to the show decreased as it went on. I never started hating the show after that nor did I think I was too old or mature for it; I just lost interest.
But once February 2001 rolled around, all of that changed. When Power Rangers Time Force began, it impacted my life in a way that is difficult for me to describe. I do not know why I started watching the show again. Perhaps because my little brother was showing interest in it again? Maybe to pass the time while training Pokémon on my GameBoy? God only knows the reason. But one thing for sure was this: it was a show that changed my life.
I took an immediate liking to Jason Faunt as the Red Ranger. The main reason? His name was Wes, too. An instant bond was formed the moment he stepped on-screen. Charismatic, likable, and a great fighter. He was pretty much everything I wanted to be, everything that I thought superheroes should be. I projected myself onto him and started asking myself how he and I were alike and how we were different.
Sometimes this type of comparison is damaging, but for me, it was remarkably introspective. I started to realize that who I was at that time was not really the Wesley I wanted to be. Who was this jaded, angry person I had become? Why was I angry? Why was I called depressed by the school's counselors? All these questions would flood my mind.
I continued to watch Time Force as much as I could. I was so happy when they started re-airing the episodes after school because it gave me so much to look forward to during the day. It was the glimmering moment of happiness that I could cling to and enjoy; not that my life was generally unhappy, but because I made it unhappy by my reactions to everything that was going on around me.
I aspired so much to be like Wes. He was that hero that I needed during this dark period of my life. Don't get me wrong, I loved the rest of the cast and look back on each of them fondly; but Wes has that special place in my heart, as cliché and sappy as that sounds. As he was learning about his place in the world, his destiny, his responsibility as a son and as a Red Ranger, I was right there alongside him, learning what he was learning and applying what I could to my life.
He was MY hero. He was MY Red Ranger.
The part that will forever stick out to me as the defining moment of Time Force was when Wes finally has that heart-to-heart with Eric at the end of the series. When he describes fighting to change one's destiny and how he and Eric are equals, are Power Rangers... well, I can't help but have chills, and I have to fight to really hold back the tears.
So, to Jason Faunt: You are my Red Ranger and my hero. Thank you so much for the work you did on that show. Was it a cheesy show at times? Yes. Was it maybe somewhat childish? I'm sure it was. But the hard work you put into that show helped to make me the person I am today. You impacted my life in ways I really cannot describe, and I give you a hearty thank you for doing what you did. I hope I can someday meet you in person and really describe what your role meant to me and give you a hug and take you out for a meal or something. You deserve it, sir.
Thank you so much for being Wes. Thank you for being my Red Ranger.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is commonly described as an anxiety disorder. Though I am not particularly familiar with medical terms (nor do I have a background in science or psychology), I will do my best to try to explain what this means in a practical sense.
First, there should be some definition of terms. "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder" (abbreviated OCD) is typically considered to be the main expression of a disorder that typically revolves around the idea of intrusive thoughts. The one who has this disorder experiences thoughts entering their head throughout their day that tells them a problem that continues to bother them until the problem is seemingly solved [1].
For example, the OCD person may be lying in bed and suddenly get the sudden thought that the front door is not locked. This thought will continually irritate this person's mind, presenting scenario after scenario for why the door should be locked (whether these scenarios are logical or illogical is irrelevant to the person), until they either go and check to make sure the door is locked or develop enough mental control to push the thought away. If the person goes and checks to make sure the door is locked, the intrusive thoughts may go away, or they may continue to plague the person even after checking. Am I sure the door is locked? Did I accidentally unlock it when I checked it? Depending on the strength of these thoughts, they may persist even if the person has personally gone to check the front door four or five times during the night
This is not to be confused with "Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder" (abbreviated OCPD). This is to be understood as a personality disorder rather than an anxiety disorder. Whereas OCD has to do with intrusive thoughts that give the person anxiety, OCPD has more to do with daily rituals and thoughts that simply "feel correct" or "proper" [2]. Those with only OCD typically understand that their thoughts are intrusive and not necessarily correct, whereas those with OCPD presuppose from the beginning that their thoughts are correct and the proper way of doing things.
For example, the OCPD person may eat the same breakfast every Friday for years and years. If you approach this person and ask them why they eat that breakfast every Friday, they may be confused. They might never have really thought about it before. It is just something that is "right" and what they do simply because they feel it is the correct thing to do. They may not stop and question it at all because there is no reason for them to do so. If they deviate from this schedule, they might then feel anxious or feel that they are doing something wrong.
OCPD may also exhibit other symptoms, such as excessive planning, meticulous attention to details, and the need to always be as clean as one can be. The character of Adrian Monk from the TV show "Monk" is a prime (though at times extreme) example of this disorder.
OCPD is typically found alongside OCD in people. The amount of similar symptoms between the two disorders is high enough that it can sometimes be indistinguishable; nevertheless, they are two separate disorders and should be kept separate from each other unless it is clear that the sufferer has distinct symptoms from both disorders.
My preference is to use "obsessive-compulsive" as a catch-all term for those with OCD and those with OCPD. Some may object to simply lumping both disorders together, but I do so for the sake of simplicity until it is clear that the person is either OCD, OCPD, or a mixture of both. I also do not like suggesting that it is a "disorder" in the sense that a person is entirely broken or that their mental capacities are hindered entirely because of a particular disorder. I will address that later on in more detail; however, for the sake of clarity, I will continue to use the word with the understanding that it is a general scholarly term that may or may not fully represent those with the issue.
In my next blog post concerning OCD/OCPD, I would like to talk about my personal experiences with both of these disorders. As one who has both disorders, I feel uniquely qualified to give a layman understanding concerning the symptoms that I experience on a daily basis and address how I cope with the day-to-day difficulties that comes with having to deal with these issues.
If you feel that I have made a mistake in my representation of OCD and OCPD, please feel free to comment below. I am only human and my knowledge is decidedly limited, so if anybody can shed additional light or correct my mistakes or provide a more reputable source of medical information, I would be most grateful.
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[1] For a more emotional demonstration, please visit: http://www.ocfoundation.org/whatisocd.aspx
While traveling into Seoul to attend my college course yesterday, I pondered about a future series of blog posts I could write. What is something that I am uniquely qualified to talk about? Have I studied this issue in some depth? What can someone gain from reading about my experiences with this particular matter? All of these questions are important. I do not simply want to tread and re-tread ground that others have talked about at length. I want something unique for my blog so that people feel they are getting something new and different from it.
Therefore, I am planning on writing a series of blog posts about a certain issue that I have dealt with all of my life: obsessive-compulsive disorder. This is something that has defined much of what I do in my day-to-day life and is a personal object of study for me, so I feel that it is important for me to put to writing. There are many misconceptions when it comes to what, exactly, OCD is, and I hope to shed some real-life experience on the issue so that those who feel the same way can find a sense of understanding from this blog.
When I was dealing with my obsessive behavior during particularly poignant portions of my life, reading about people who have had similar experiences was very helpful. No longer did I feel that I was the only one on earth dealing with these difficulties. There were many, many other people who expressed their feelings on the exact same issues I did, and in a way, it helped me to deal with my own problems and obsessions in a type of healing process. It was quite helpful for my personal development and it helped me become the man I am today.
I do not know how many posts I will write on this issue yet, but I do hope that somebody will be able to gain some semblance of help or hope by reading these entries. I also hope that by doing this, others can find a sense of kinship with others who share these difficulties in their lives and share experiences and develop friendships with each other.
Perhaps I will forever be the optimist, but I hope that this will help somebody in some capacity sometime in the future.
After so many months of a New Who drought, Asylum of the Daleks helps return the brilliant show to TVs once again. This episode has been watched and re-watched by fans and critiqued to no end at this point. What can I add to the ever-growing flame of "Asylum of the Daleks"?
-Spoilers Ahead!-
Personally, I enjoyed the episode. It was certainly not the whiz-bang game-changer that so many people expected, but I am actually okay with that. One merely has to look at the previous episodes that have opened new series' to see that this opener was... well, pretty much par for the course.
-"Rose" was highly anticipated for the Doctor's triumphant return to television. Who was the antagonist? Mannequins.
-"New Earth" was the brand-new series opener starring the new Doctor, David Tennant. Who was the villain? That Cassandra lady from a previous episode.
-"Smith and Jones" heralded a new companion, the first since Rose joined in the first series... and the villain was some alien lady who sucked blood and sent a hospital to the moon.
-"Partners in Crime" re-introduced a fan-favorite one-time companion, Donna Noble, to the show. The antagonist? Some lady who was making babies for alien species out of human fat.
-"Eleventh Hour" was the big introduction of Matt Smith as the Doctor, and to the episode's credit, it did in a very grand way.
-"The Impossible Astronaut" was the much-hyped death of the Doctor episode, and the first two-part opener since the new series started.
Not that I have a problem with the above episodes. I really do enjoy each of them, and think they are perfectly fine series openers. I am of the mindset that a series like Doctor Who needs to open up innocuously and subtly, and then gradually build up to the climax that makes everything that happened in the series suddenly make perfect sense. "Bad Wolf, "Vote Saxon," the bees leaving earth, the Silence, etc... All of these are introduced early and are built up during their respective seasons. I find that to be the most clever way to make a grand story.
Given Steven Moffat's track record with the Eleventh Doctor openers, it is clear that he likes them to be very huge and explosive. But really, how could he top what he did last series? Once you show the death of a main character, there are only so many places you can go.
So he decided to show the death of a character played by the same actress who is supposed to become a new companion later in the seventh series. That, to me, seemed like a pretty big way to start the series. I did not even recognize her until my wife pointed it out, and then it felt like the stakes escalated dramatically for me. It was very clever on his part, and I am looking forward to seeing how Oswin is related to Clara.
To be honest, though: I hated what they introduced with Rory and Amy. The divorce subplot was entirely unnecessary and detracted from the main story completely. I understand the emotional impact of it, but it seemed like nothing more than a ratings grab. Amy would really divorce the man who spent 2,000 years waiting for her? Really? Because she wasn't able to give him children? I am sorry, but I don't buy it. Like I said, I understand the emotion behind it, but it really does not make much sense. Amy can be emotionally rocky at times, but not like this. Not to this extent. I do not feel that the characters were really done justice by this episode, and I am very happy that it was resolved quickly. I really hope that this does not become a running problem throughout this season.
All in all, I enjoyed this episode for what it was, niggling plot points aside. It was a good series opener to me, and I felt that it hit the right notes it needed to kick-start a new series of Doctor Who. I spent the last ten months binging on Old Who and the Big Finish audio dramas and enjoyed those very much, but I definitely needed this new episode to satisfy my desire to see the Eleventh Doctor on-screen once again.
Last night, I signed up for the 2012 Autumn Friendly almost as soon as the Pokémon Global Link site was updated. Just the day before, I had been thinking about when the next competition would be; lo and behold, it is happening sooner than I thought!
I enjoy these Pokémon Competitions very much. I have actively participated in two of the competitions so far (it would have been three, but my college's internet was not DS-friendly), and have greatly enjoyed the seamless Wi-Fi battling that these games offer. Though the personal touch of having both battlers in the same room is lost, it is still quite a lot of fun.
During the 2012 Spring Friendly, I placed at 772 out of 3022 active participants, which is right about the 25th percentile. I won 13 battles and lost 7 battles. Not bad for a first-timer who was only familiar with battling among friends, I think.
During the 2012 International Challenge, I placed at 1482 out of 9020 active participants, which is about the 16th percentile. I won 19 battles and lost 8 battles, which definitely helped my percentage.
Unfortunately, during these competitions, I experienced a lot of rage-quitter battles. I would have a higher score had the other person not disconnected their game right when I was about to win. This is frustrating to me, but what can you do? I just had to keep trying my best.
My only previous experience with battling "competitively" was with my two good friends from college. They were like masters when it came to EV training and IV breeding, and everything that I know about raising good Pokémon was learned through their tutelage. I have them to thank for my performance in these competitions. One of them actually explained to me the perfect "Rain Team" for generation five to me, and I am now using his team. He cannot compete in the competitions due to not having a wireless connection that he can get working with his DS. He battles vicariously through the videos I upload for him, and tweaks the team according to the difficulties I have faced with battling this particular team.
With the new competition next week, I hope to be more prepared than ever. I am going to spend the off-hours during this week tweaking various movesets and perhaps adding two more Pokémon to the bench so that I can throw off other battler's expectations when they get a quick glimpse at my team. I am hoping that I can get within the 10th percentile this year.
As a Pokémon trainer, I feel a sense of pride in my performance as a battler. Yes, it is ultimately just a game, but it is MY game. These are MY Pokémon. I am proud of my hard work, as irrelevant as it might be to the rest of the world and to its grand influence on my life. Because it is my accomplishment. It is my skill. It is my hard work.
